good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I need water and some morals
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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