I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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