Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
