I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
