I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
