Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
