He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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