We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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