Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She bit a glass in half.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
