I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
