Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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