Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
