Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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