She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Yo dont text me then not text me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
