im drinking this country out of the recession.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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