on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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