he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
