Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
