She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Who died my cat blue again?
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