her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
