I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
