Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
