And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude i'm inner monologue high
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It was confusing and full of hummus
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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