Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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