ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
