I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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