But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
there is glitter all over my balls
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
