How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
