yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Never joke about your clitoris.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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