what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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