perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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