i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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