Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
