already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
try to milk me bitch
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