hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
