she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Even my vagina gasped.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
