I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
