Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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