hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
