help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
