Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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