I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
