Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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