this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
