ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
