Just cropdusted the office
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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