just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
