Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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