She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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