I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
