and you said cock pushups were impossible
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
